"Why Because?"

Had an appointment in clinic today up at CHOC. I was not looking forward to going but I figured hey one step closer to getting off of steroids so eh it is ok. Instead I was given an epiphany as a gift.

While my mom and I were sitting there in the waiting area with the rest of the population ha ah ha, there was a little boy probably around the age of 8 sitting there quietly with his grandmother. You could tell that the little boy had been going through chemotherapy and on steroids; he had the puffy cheeks like mine.

For some odd reason I was mesmerized by this particular quiet little man. My mind had been racing a million "What IFs" a second and of my to do list of things I needed to get to, but every time I glanced at this child all of that buzzing was muted.

Mean while outside of "Isabella land" the chaos and busy bustle of nurses and other noisy patients was humming in the air and here still was this young child sitting so peacefully and quietly not stirring with any agitation. He glanced up at his grandmother and she was telling him that they were going to have to wait a little longer than they expected. Right then I knew here comes the break down, no child wants to be sitting hours in a doctor’s office on a day when they could be playing. Instead he shrugged and all that came out was " Why because?”

This made me smile, a taunting question that we all have been asking since we were old enough to speak and to this day we still ask. Just maybe the circumstances around it have changed a bit. Instead of asking, "Why do I have to clean my room or why can't I have anymore chocolate milk?”  We are asking why can't I lose weight? Or why is that person succeeding in work farther than I am. Why is there cancer? Why is Donald Trump running for president? He He

WHY DO I HAVE VASCULITIS?

The truth is there may be no definite answer for any of this and it is challenging everyday in life to deal with all of these things but it is how we choose to deal and look at it. It is not always easy and some things are crueler than others but there is always a light there. It is that light that helps keep me going and reminds me of the good things in life. As trying as it can be it is when we slow down and remain calm like this young boy did those lights grow brighter, are easier to see and help us get through our trying challenges and difficult times in our daily lives.